Alive
by hxppythxughts
Summary: Kenny obtained a weird habit shortly after they had started dating. Habits aren't a bad thing, but the wrist grabbing is really confusing. Butters never brought it up or even thought about why Kenny does this but when he finds out, it's the last thing he expected. Though, it does make sense. MISTAKES HAVE BEEN FIXED!


He's watching him.

He's just sitting on the blanket laid across the grass, watching him eat.

Why is he watching him? Who knows?

Butters stops eating his apple slice mid bite and sets it on a napkin, being careful not to have it touch the ground. Kenny worked really hard on this food. He clears his throat and glances at the said man beside him.

"Is- uh- is something wrong?"

Kenny realizes he's just been caught staring and throws the hood of his parka up, looking off to the side. His face felt hot.

"Ah- n-no... I just..." He pauses and pulls his hood strings tighter, "you look really cute, that's all."

This wasn't anything new to hear. Kenny always called him cute. Everywhere they went it's always a, "you look adorable, Buttercup," or, "you're so cute today." He's not complaining, he loves it.

"Oh, gee. Thank you, Ken!"

Kenny looks up and grins, still a hint of red on his face.

"Kenny! You shouldn't have your hood up!" The smaller blond crawls over on his knees and reaches for Kenny's hood to push it down, "you'll burn up!"

Kenny watches as Butters grips the furs of his hood and slowly brings it back down, revealing his face.

"I also want to see your face," He brings his fingers through sandy blond hair and ruffles it gently.

The action is adorable and Kenny can't get enough of his pounding heart. He grabs the wrist above his head and brings it down to his lips, kissing the inside near the vains.

"A-ah! Ken?" Butters tries his best not to fall foward from the sudden movement of his wrist.

Kenny wraps his hand around the part of his wrist that connects right to his hand and closes his eyes.

This seemed to be a common thing. He constantly grabbed his wrist and closes his eyes, seeming to relax. Butters doesn't understand but he finds it cute anyway.

"I love you, Buttercup," Kenny rubs his thumb against his wrist and visibly relaxes more, "so much."

All Butters can do is smile, "I love you too."

They're both laying Butters' bed, Kenny laying in between Butters' legs on his stomach, head on his chest, hand holding his wrist while Butters stroked his hair.

Kenny kept rubbing his thumb over his wrist. Butters found it relaxing.

 _Yawn_

"You tired, Ken?"

"Mm, yeah."

"You can sleep, you know."

Kenny stopped moving his thumb over the vained area for a few seconds. Butters felt him relax and just hold his wrist.

"Okay," He reached up and pecked the other boy on his lips and laid his head back on his chest, "good night, baby."

"Good night."

Kenny didn't let go of his wrist the whole time they slept.

The sound of a book closing was heard in the school's library.

"I'm tired of studying," He dropped his World War 2 book on the table loudly and slumped back in the wooden chair, groaning, "let's do something else."

Butters glanced up from his Trigonometry book, "Like what?"

"Oh," Kenny wiggled his eyebrows and gave him _that look_ , "you know."

Butters didn't react, he reached down for his bookbag and dug around it. He pulled out his lunchbox and dug around in that. He pulled out a banana.

"Here," He set the banana on the table in front of Kenny's shocked face, "this should help."

Kenny frowned and slouched back again, "Not funny, Buttercup."

The smaller blond chuckled, "It kind of is."

Kenny glanced at Butters, who returned to his book. He just stared like he always did.

 _'So cute.'_

He frowned after a few seconds. Reaching over, he grabbed Butters' wrist rubbing his thumb around the vains.

Butters looked up and saw the look of concetration on his lover's face. He tilted his head.

 _'Is he looking for something?'_

He shrugged it off and continued reading.

A contented sigh came from Kenny's mouth and he stopped rubbing his wrist and instead just held it.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Kenny."

Kenny and Butters were out on summer vacation at a fairly priced, small beach house. School had ended a month ago. They just had one more year until they graduate.

Butters was in the kitchen eating his leftovers from dinner. Kenny was already asleep in the bedroom. It was still kind of early but they did a lot of stuff today, so being tired at this time is reasonable.

Butters wasn't tired yet so he was gonna eat and play on Kenny's PSP for a bit then go to bed.

He set his empty plate in the sink. He told himself to wash it tomorrow.

He headed toward the small living room to look for the PSP he had set there earlier.

"Where is it?" He looked under the coffee table, the pillows, even behind the potted plant. He started to sweat, "Jeez, it shouldn't be this hot."

He looked around and saw the fans weren't on. He flipped the switch on the wall and they strarted spinning, releasing cool air.

"That's better," He smiled but then realized, "oh hamburgers! The fan in the bedroom!"

Butters ran to the bedroom and quietly stepped inside. Kenny was curled up on the bed. The fan wasn't on in there, so Butters switched it on. He turned around to go back to the other room, but he heard crying.

"Kenny?"

Kenny whimpered and Butters frowned. He walked over to the bed and sat down. Reaching his hand out, he touched messy hair. Kenny cried louder.

"Oh, Ken," He laid down next to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around Kenny's neck. Kenny's arms immediately went around Butters' waist, burying his face in his chest, "it's okay. I'm here."

Kenny quickly grabbed Butters' wrist and brought it to his chest, rubbing his thumb on it. His whimpering died down and he eventually fell asleep.

Butters decided to stay in bed and sleep with him.

"I love you, Kenny."

Butters always knew Kenny held his wrist a lot. It became a habit for Kenny to grab his wrist and for Butters to feel lost without his hold.

But Butters never noticed, or paid attention, that when Kenny grabs his wrist, he always rubs his thumb or forefinger over his vains, or better said, his pulse.

He couldn't figure out why his pulse was a _big_ thing. It didn't make any se-

Oh.

 _Oh._

It never occurred to him.

It's a sign he's still alive and breathing and _just there with him_.

He guesses it makes sense. Even though Kenny dies and comes back, doesn't mean Butters can too.

Kenny just needed a reminder that Butters isn't leaving. That's a good enough reason for him.

This was horrible.

They just got into a car accident on their way to the movies.

There were car parts everywhere and ambulance sirens heard all around the area but all Kenny saw was Butters' limp body in the passenger seat. His head laid back against the head rest. His nose was broken and bloody and there were little bits of blood in his hair and on his forehead.

Kenny reached his hand to Butters' wrist and moved his forefinger over his pulse. Faint.

"Oh god," Kenny brought his wrist to his face and cried, "it-it's okay, Buttercup. You'll be o-okay."

The paramedic eventually got to them and took Butters on a medical bed to the ambulance. They also checked him for injuries, he wasn't listening to know if he had any. He seemed lost.

This wasn't how it's supposed to be.

He's in Butters' hospital room. His head laid on the bed, hand around the smaller blond's wrist. He hasn't let go for a while. He's afraid if he does, he'll never feel his pulse again.

"Butters, please," He cried into his arm.

The beeping of the heart monitor kept Kenny sane. He don't what he'll do if it flatlines.

"Please, wake up," Kenny raised his head a bit and looked at Butters' sleeping face. Bandages were wrapped around his forehead and nose, "you have to wake up. I need you. You can't leave just yet. We're gonna graduate next year and-and go to college together. We're gonna get the hell out of South Park and go somewhere better. Get a nice house with a big backyard and 2 dogs just like you want," He began to choke on his words, "y-you said you w-want kids one day... I w-want that t-too."

He laid his head back down and sobbed. His throat started to hurt but he didn't care.

He eventually fell asleep from exhaustion, hand still holding Butters' wrist.

He felt something on his head. It was gentle, moving through his hair. There was movement in his hand holding the wrist of-

He eyes popped open and his head rose up quickly.

He saw baby blue eyes staring at him.

He's awake.

Butters was awake.

Kenny grinned and tears fell from his eyes.

"Butters!" He hugged him gently, bring careful of his injuries, "holy shit, you're awake."

He pulled back and smashed his lips against Butters'. He gave him little pecks all over his face, whispering loving things after each kiss.

"Fuck, I love you."

Butters smiled, "I l-love you too, Ken."

"Fuck," He grabbed Butters' wrist and looked for his pulse. He visibly relaxed once he felt it at it's normal speed, "don't ever leave me. I wouldn't be able to stand it."

"Don't worry," He brought Kenny's face down for a kiss, "my pulse will always be there for you."


End file.
